I always liked the Viking-type movies, where guys used huge axes and Thor’s hammers to smash their way to glory and victory in battle.  I thought about it one day as I walked through the gym doors.  It was an early morning when only a select few chose to do battle with the beasts of steel and iron.  Don’t get me wrong.  There are warriors that come to do battle at all times of the day.  I have just found my perfect tribe in the wee hours of the morning.  

Let Me Up In Dat Piece!!!

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Here’s the truth of it, though (We’re going to touch upon that word truth again).  Even though there is a set of people, “The Usuals,” you can call them.  These Usuals that you see just about every time you’re in.  If you don’t see them, you’re kind of looking around the whole time you’re in there, like huh, that ain’t really sitting well with me.  Like you feel a little pang of hurt that they didn’t show up.  Like that’s got anything to do with you.  Man, if you don’t move on and lift some weights or something, boaaa.  Anyway, as I’m getting out of my car.  I’m surrounded by darkness, and the only light that I see is the lights that are shining out of the gym.  It looks otherworldly, and I get kind of excited.  In my mind, I was entering hallowed ground, the halls of justice (if you’re a fan of DC comics/movies).  I was entering what all those beloved Viking movies would have called the halls of Vahala.

Yes, there was a sense of pride, a little pep in my steps a little dare I say a taste of the swagger?  Truth time, remember I said I’d come back to the truth. 
1st Truth Vahala was where you went after you died in battle.  Soooo basically, for me to be romanticizing dying under the crushing force of me squatting 405 at the squat rack that had safety bars, but in my illustrious wisdom, I chose to squat outside of them because they made me feel claustrophobic.  That isn’t something that would make you think swag.   I can’t see glory following me in that scenario, nor in any scenario where I just keel over deceased like at the gym.  Maybe if I were in the Octagon, but still, I don’t remember anyone but Bolo and Jean Claude Van Damme from Blood Sport.  2nd Truth.  If the gym is anything else, it’s the ultimate source of truth.  It’s the place where likes don’t work, applause only comes from when you really earn it, and even then, it may just come in the form of a head nod acknowledging that was a great rep.  It is where the darkness is always lurking, waiting to consume those whose mental haven’t been tested for the trials ahead.  The Squat, The Deadlift, The Bench Press.  These are the beasts of the wild that every gym hunter wants to hang a trophy of on their wall of accomplishments.  You can’t buy these trophies in the store, you can’t borrow them from a friend.  They have to be earned, not given.

If you’re one of those who earn.  Then I applaud you.  Not that it matters much.  Tomorrow is Leg day, and I hate everyone on Leg day. 

Till Next Time, WatChaHealthyFo3 Anyway…